3 Steps to Surviving the End of the World on Your Birthday

Just 8 weeks ago I was sitting in Fort Lauderdale, trying my best to enjoy my last birthday in my 30s. I had flown in a few hours ago from Hickory, NC, where I had been coaching managers at one of the world’s largest tape manufacturers. My husband had text during work, but to be honest, I was pretty disappointed with his lack of enthusiasm for my big day. So, naturally, I ignored my phone and dug into work. When I finally wrapped up, I looked at my phone on the way to the airport and found a slew of dramatic news alerts:

·      Trump suspends travel to U.S. from continental Europe

·      WHO declares coronavirus outbreak to be pandemic

·      Stocks continue 4% plunge ending an 11-year bull run. 

·      3 U.S. coalition troops killed in a rocket attack on Iraq base

·      NBA suspends season, NCAA bars fans from March Madness, MLB & NHL seasons delayed

·      Disney Parks and Cruise Line temporarily closed for the third time in company history

·      Tom Hanks says he and wife, Rita Wilson, have coronavirus

Not Tom Hanks!

And for the first time in my life my church announced suspension of gathered church services worldwide. See ya later, congregation family. 

So basically, the world ended on my birthday. Awesome.

My husband’s texting made a lot more sense now. Three hours into my flight I debated if I should keep our plans or turn around and head home. My vote was to stay since it was my birthday and may be our last chance to get away for 2020! Plus, what would our next few weeks (maybe months) look like quarantined at home? 

Once on the ground, I united with my husband only to find the wrenching and economically devastating news continuing. Florida was beautiful as always, but it made me feel sad, frustrated, and lousy for trying to celebrate at all. Determined to stick to our plan and have a chance at a birthday, I headed to the beach with my journal, phone, Airpods, a book, and a magazine (the essentials). If I had to hunker down on the beach, I wanted to be ready! I came up with three things I could do to take my birthday back (despite the crazy going on around me):

1.     Walk the Beach. Moving my body never fails me—it gets my energy up, gets my brain relaxed, and feeds the “do-er” in me. So, I picked my direction and headed off. I breathed in the Atlantic Ocean breeze, soaked in the sun warming my skin, and felt the sand between my toes. I used the time to reflect on my 30s (this is a blog post unto itself). An hour and a half later, with a closed “Exercise Ring” on my Apple Watch, my heart felt a bit lighter.

2.     Have a Conversation with a Close Friend. I’m a textbook extrovert, so this again never fails me unless one of my tribe members is unavailable or triggered by something. I called a dear friend who I’ve known since 2003 and she answered. She was in NYC and already stuck in quarantine, so the chat ended up boosting both of us (I felt pretty lucky to be in Florida!). We discussed our 30s and all the “I didn’t see that coming” moments we never could have never predicted. Memory lane always soothes my soul, especially with a close friend who can finish my sentences.

3.     Write in my Journal. This is a tool I use as a spiritual practice to navigate the unexpected. I write a stream of consciousness called “Morning Pages”, capturing anything and everything that crosses my mind. These words are for my eyes only and there are no rules. Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way and creator of this tool, describes it as a, “a farewell to life as you knew it and introduction to life as it’s going to be.” I love that. It’s a cleansing practice that brings perspective, clarity, and a renewed will to try again. The best part is there’s no way to do these wrong or to perfect them (which is helpful for my high achiever self).

As I walked into my hotel room feeling rejuvenated and like my birthday was recaptured, my husband surprised me with some of my favorite chocolate cookies he’d brought all the way from Texas (thank you Tiny Boxwoods) and a reservation to Thomas Keller’s latest restaurant, The Surf Club. Birthday for the books! 

So what’s my learning in all of this? We all know the unexpected happens without regard to our best laid plans. But knowing where we find our rejuvenating, inner peace is a job that only we can do for ourselves to tap into what really matters. And hey, you need not follow my three-steps, but you do need a plan. So while we all go through the disaster of the corona virus together, do your job to map out the actions you’re going to take to get your metaphorical birthday back. Because growth never comes without obstacles to overcome and having a plan (even three simple steps) can help ensure we not only survive but maybe even thrive. Not a bad gift for my last 30s birthday.